


The Aftermath

by Loner__Headphones



Series: Don't leave him alone [2]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Misgendering, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Trans Michael, Trans Michael Mell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-02 16:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13322445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loner__Headphones/pseuds/Loner__Headphones
Summary: It's been a whole two weeks since the incident happened at school and Michael hasn't left his room at all unless he's going to the basement or the bathroom. Jeremy's starting to worry that if Michael keeps this up something bad will happen.





	The Aftermath

It had been two weeks since Michael had almost been raped in the school locker room at what was supposed to be his special night. He tried to forget it, to push it away and just say "it's over now" But he couldn't. He had tried going to school but as soon as he saw Brigit he broke down and started crying. He hadn't been to school since then. He just stayed in his room.

Ashley, Rachel, and Jeremy were all super conncerned. Michael didn't leave his room unless he was going to the bathroom or going to the basement. He also didn't leave unless he knew that no one was around. He had to be completely alone.

Jeremy was the most concerned. Michael didn't talk anymore, not a word. He tried calling Michael once, thinking that if Michael was on the phone that he would be forced to talk. Michael had picked up but hung up imedently. Not a single word was said.

This worried Jeremy so badly that he was constantly worried about Michael. He had seriously considered asking Ashley and Rachel to allow him to put secret security cameras into Michael's room and into the basement, just so he could always keep an eye on Michael, even while he was at school.

After another week of Michael not showing up anywhere or talking Jeremy stopped going to school, his dad let him stop. Christine brought him all the school work from the day and Jeremy willingly did it with her. He wanted good grades still but he refused to leave Michael alone. Jeremy was the only person Michael could stand to be around, he didn't even like being around Rachel or Ashley anymore.

This didn't mean that Michael started talking again. No, he never would. He would mumble stuff sometimes but never repeated it. He didn't do much of anything anymore. He would play video games but he always lost intentionally just so that he could stop playing.

Jeremy knew that what had happened to Michael was awful but he never thought that this all would happen. Michael wasn't Michael anymore and Jeremy didn't know how to fix it. No one did. Michael didn't say how to fix it.

This all was worrisome but something happened one day that let Jeremy know that Michael couldn't be left alone.

Jeremy came over one day, the day Michael had written a note to Jeremy insisting that he go to school that one day. Jeremy didn't know why that one day but he thought it would make Michael happy so he went. It was a mistake, such a mistake.

_**He left Michael alone.** _

As soon as Jeremy got to the front steps of Michael's house he could tell something wasn't right. There was such a negative energy coming from the house. It was such a strong feeling that Jeremy didn't wanna enter the house. But he did and what he saw.... God, he didn't wanna see it again.

Furniture was flipped over, picture frames were broken, pictures torn apart, broken glass everywhere, even the TV screen was broken.

"Michael.... Michael didn't do this? Did he? He wouldn't." Jeremy said quietly, still in shock. He quickly glanced into the driveway. Only Michael's car was there, Ashley and Rachel were gone. At least Michael was still here.

Jeremy went further into the house, not seeing much more destruction. The thing that concerned Jeremy the most was one of the picture frames in the hallway that lead to the stairs that lead upstairs.

The picture was of Michael, Jeremy, Rachel, Ashley, and Jeremy's dad. The glass was broken on the frame and Michael's face had been scratched out. On the white part of the picture where Michael's face had been was the words "NO GOOD". That lead Jeremy to believe that Michael had gone all this.

"Michael! It's me, Jeremy! Where are you?!"

Jeremy listened closely, hearing something hit the wall upstairs. That's how Michael let Jeremy know where he was. Jeremy went upstairs, looking around.

"Second hit!" Jeremy shouted. Michael only hit the wall with his hand four times to let Jeremy know where he was. If Jeremy didn't get it in four tries Michael moved to a different room. One that was in a different part of the house. It was kinda stupid but it gave Michael joy to see Jeremy try to guess where he was.

Michael hit a door this time but.... It wasn't a regular hit. This one was violent, indicting that something wasn't right. These weren't regular hits. Michael was being aggressive and it wasn't just to the door or wall.

"Michael, speak, please. Don't hit anything else. Where are you?" Jeremy called out, his voice cracking. He was almost to worried and scared to talk.

Jeremy didn't hear Michael's voice but he heard music. It was their song.... The song that played right before everything happened.

It was coming from the bathroom. Jeremy dropped his bag and quickly made his way to the bathroom. He tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Michael, open the door." Jeremy said in a concerned tone. He could hear something else coming from the bathroom. It was Michael's voice. He could hear it but just barely.

"No good, no good, no good, no good-" Michael kept repeating those words. He sounded like a broken record. His voice kept getting louder then quiet, then loud, then quiet. Finally his voice stopped. Michael stopped talking again. 

"Michael, open the door, please. I'm worried about you. What happened downstairs? Did you do that?" Jeremy said, trying to speak as calmly as possible. He twisted the knob, hoping to break the lock. It didn't work.

"Michael, come out, please. Why did you ask for me to go to school today? You never do."

Jeremy waited for a response, he didn't get one. He waited a minute before hearing something. The door clicked. Michael had finally unlocked the door.

Jeremy went in slowly, seeing Michael on the ground. He was facing away from Jeremy. Michael's scars from the knife wounds were red. Not surprising. But.... Michael had different clothes on from his usual ones. He had a dark blue dress on and as much as Jeremy hated to admit it the dress looked good on Michael. But he didn't want Michael in the dress.

"I'm gonna approach, don't freak out." Jeremy said, slowly going over to Michael and sitting next to him. He carefully wrapped a arm around Michael's shoulder, pulling him close. Michael automatically melted into Jeremy's touch, sighing softly.  It was a reassuring sigh.

"Michael, what happened downstairs? Why is stuff broken? Why are you wearing a dress?"

Michael started breathing heavily, closing his eyes briefly before opening them and finally, finally, speaking.

"I'm sorry I haven't been talking. I don't wanna say something wrong. Brigit was here, she found my house. She didn't think anyone was home but we all were. Ashley and Rachel were downstairs in the basement cleaning up so they didn't hear her. I was in the hallway scratching that photo that I know you saw when she got here. I wrote that No Good thing but she caught me. She had this blue dress in her hands. She threatened me, said if I made any noise she was gonna hurt me. She forced me to wear this dress. She tried to do more but I started breaking stuff to get Ashley and Rachel's attention. It wasn't until I flipped the table that they came running since they thought I was just banging around. They both told me to go to the bathroom and lock the door, 'Don't open it for anyone unless you're sure you know who they are.' They said. That's why I waited till open the door. They took Brigit away, forcing her out of the house. She was screaming and cursing at us. She said if I ever came back to school she was gonna kill me. I never knew someone could hate one person so much...."

Jeremy had wide eyes. He never thought when Michael finally spoke that he would say all that.

"I uh.... I didn't know.... Why did you ask me to go to school today?"

"Because.... Because I was gonna kill myself today. I didn't want you to be here when I did it. I was so ready. I had everything ready. There's a noose in my room, not hung up, but it's there, and if I didn't do it that way I was...." Michael trailed off, looking away.

"You were gonna jump out the window, weren't you?" Jeremy asked, his voice caring but also concerned.

"Yeah.... I was.... That was the original plan. But I wanted to suffer, I wanted to end my life in this world by going through a lot of pain and misery. To show.... To show the world that I was willing to die a very painful death just to leave this world...."

"Michael.... Let's get back to your room. We can change your clothes and just relax. or we can get to the basement and play video games or something. It'll be good for you.... For us."

Michael looked at Jeremy, nodding slightly.

Jeremy stood up, pulling Michael up with him. Michael swayed a little bit, not being completely stable on his feet. Jeremy just thought it was because he had been sitting for a long time. Boy was he wrong.

They both walked back to Michael's room. As soon as they got there Jeremy knew Michael wasn't limping because his legs were numb. He saw broken glass on the floor, red staining the tips of some of the glass.

Jeremy's eyes widened before looking down at Michael's thighs. They were a little.... red.... Jeremy sat Michael down on his bed, looking into the others eyes.

"Michael, why were you limping? Why is that broken glass red?" Jeremy asked, his tone strict but caring.

Michael looked away. "I uh.... I used it to fight off Brigit.... That's why it's red...."

"Why were you limping?" Jeremy's hands curled into fists, balling the bottom of the dress Michael was wearing into his hands.

"Because.... Because she hurt me. That's why...." Michael hugged himself tightly, shaking softly.

Jeremy sighed and pushed the skirt of the dress up, seeing fresh red cuts all over Michael's thighs. Michael didn't even try to pull the skirt down, he just closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Jeremy.

"Michael.... Why? Why did you do this? Why didn't you call me? You know I would have answered no matter what. Why di-" Jeremy was cut off by Michael speaking.

"Because I wanted to be alone! I wanted all this pain and sorrow! I'm tired of this world punishing me Jeremy! And if that means that I leave my loved ones behind then it's fine!" Michael pushed Jeremy away, facing away from Jeremy and curling up on the bed.

"Michael...." Jeremy wasn't sure what to do. Was he being serious? He was willing to leave everyone behind just so the world would stop punishing him? He was that desperate?

Jeremy quickly wrapped his arms around Michael, pushing any other thoughts away.

"No, you can't leave. Not without me. I wouldn't be able to live without you. I know this is cheesy but you can't leave me. We've been through thick and thin together and if all of that went to waste, all those good times, then I'd feel awful. Michael, I could never imagine a world without you. If there is a universe where you aren't in my life then I don't wanna see it-"

Jeremy would have said more but he heard something coming from Michael. He was.... Crying.... Michael turned around, wrapping his arms around Jeremy's waist. He was hugging him tightly, acting like this was gonna be their last hug ever. Jeremy hugged back just as tight, or at least tighter than he was.

"I.... I'm so sorry Jeremy. I'm sorry. I don't know why this is happening. I mean.... I do.... I don't want it to happen. Everything hurts. I should have kept you with me. Don't leave again, please. No matter what I say, always stay with me."

Jeremy nodded, messing with Michael's messy hair. It felt really greasy. He hadn't washed it for a while.

"I won't leave. But uh.... Michael.... Can I ask you something?"

Michael nodded, not speaking.

"Do you wash your hair anymore? Because right now I'm pretty sure if it was possible I could take your hair grease and make a mean plate of french fries with it. You know, if that wasn't gross and was possible."

Michael laughed softly, shaking his head.

"No, I don't. It's been a little less than a week since the last time I washed my hair."

"Do you maybe wanna get this dress off and go take a bath or a shower? I think it'd be good for you to be in some hot water. It used to help you a lot."

"Jeremy, full offense but that sounds boring. Why not help me out of this dress and we can watch our favorite movie that we used to watch when we were kids? I think that would be helpful right now." Michael laughed under his breath, knowing what Jeremy's instant reaction would be. Or at least he thought he knew.

"I'm down to watch it. Just because I know you love fantasizing about Ariel and how you want that same ending in your life. Or you want that in your life." Jeremy kissed Michael on the cheek, running one hand through Michael's greasy hair. "But I'll only sit through it all if you promise to wash your hair in the morning before I wake up."

Michael was a little taken back about Jeremy agreeing to watch it but he wasn't shocked for to long. He gave a kind smile, nodding. "Deal. Let's get me out of this stupid dress and go watch the movie."

Jeremy nodded but put a hand on Michael's shoulder, holding him in place.

"Michael, one more thing before we watch the movie." Jeremy said, running his hand through Michael's hair one last time.

Michael tilted his head to the side a little bit. He was kind of confused. That is, he was confused until Jeremy smeared his greasy hand all over Michael's cheek before kissing him on the lips softly and passionately. He pulled away after a minute.

"I love you and your greasy hair, just don't let it get this bad ever again."

Michael smiled and nodded. "I promise I won't let it get that bad anymore. Now let's go." Michael laughed softly as he spoke, but something was different.

Jeremy realized what it was. And honestly, it made him wanna cry tears of joy.

Michael's smile was bright. A different smile than usual.  His laugh was different as well. This laugh and smile was filled with happiness, love, and kindness. It was Michael's laugh. It was Michael's smile.

It was Michael.

**Author's Note:**

> "*CLICKING KUDOS DESPERATELY*  
> DON'T YOU HURT MY BOYS YOU MONSTER! Haha. I love this fic and i was REALLY SCARED that they would get to really rape my poor Michael"
> 
> I DIDN'T HURT HIM TO BAD, OKAY? DON'T MURDER ME, PLZ AND THANK YOU. (Every Kudo still makes me wanna hurt them less. If this part of this series gets 20 likes then the next part will 100% be just love stuff. Maybe a little nsfw if I find the courage to let Michael and Jeremy fuck properly and figure out how to let them go slow and take everything s l o w. Lmao, send this to your friends and force them to like this if you wanna see that.)
> 
> Also, this part of this terrible series is a mess. I was trying not to hurt Michael or Jeremy to much which believe it or not is way more difficult than it seems. I wanted to hurt Michael badly but since people liked the last part (aka, gave it kudos) I had to do as I promised and not hurt him to much. I made it as nice as possible but this part was so challenging to write.
> 
> Also, small head cannon but Trans Michael's favorite movie is The Little Mermaid because Ariel is trapped in a body that she hates and in the end she gets her true body and the guy of her dreams. Okay, bye.


End file.
